Comments on: Only Three Ways To Die http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/08/09/only-three-ways-to-die/ Reflections of a Buddhist Physician Thu, 09 Sep 2010 16:02:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: VerseZ http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/08/09/only-three-ways-to-die/#comment-1941 VerseZ Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:34:52 +0000 http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/?p=3177#comment-1941 I want to pass on like my mother-in-law. It was so perfect, I couldn't picture any other way for myself or my loved ones. She suffered with one ailment after another, from diabetes to paralysis of the throat, in a span of 10 years. And in the end, after we brought her home from the hospital leaving her tubes and needles and medicines behind, she hugged me close as she lay there on the bed. No one knows about it. Those minutes, that warmth, that glow on her face knowing she was going Home from home. It was enough to make me smile through my tears. I was, I think, actually happy for her and for myself that I was with her. The Azaan for the evening prayers at the mosque had just begun when she died. What could be more perfect for a lady so devoted to God. The entire—and i mean the ENTIRE—family was at her bedside. Thirty or forty people including kids and babies from both her husband's side (my father-in-law's brothers and their families), and her sisters and their families too. The room was tiny and crammed tight. But I'll never forget the look of contentment on her round face. That she was going to Heaven with everyone bidding her goodbye... <blockquote><em><strong>VerseZ</strong>: What a wonderful story. Alex</em></blockquote> I want to pass on like my mother-in-law. It was so perfect, I couldn’t picture any other way for myself or my loved ones. She suffered with one ailment after another, from diabetes to paralysis of the throat, in a span of 10 years. And in the end, after we brought her home from the hospital leaving her tubes and needles and medicines behind, she hugged me close as she lay there on the bed. No one knows about it. Those minutes, that warmth, that glow on her face knowing she was going Home from home. It was enough to make me smile through my tears. I was, I think, actually happy for her and for myself that I was with her.

The Azaan for the evening prayers at the mosque had just begun when she died. What could be more perfect for a lady so devoted to God. The entire—and i mean the ENTIRE—family was at her bedside. Thirty or forty people including kids and babies from both her husband’s side (my father-in-law’s brothers and their families), and her sisters and their families too. The room was tiny and crammed tight. But I’ll never forget the look of contentment on her round face. That she was going to Heaven with everyone bidding her goodbye…

VerseZ: What a wonderful story.

Alex

]]> By: Twitter Trackbacks for Happiness in this World » Only Three Ways To Die [happinessinthisworld.com] on Topsy.com http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/08/09/only-three-ways-to-die/#comment-832 Twitter Trackbacks for Happiness in this World » Only Three Ways To Die [happinessinthisworld.com] on Topsy.com Sun, 23 Aug 2009 07:18:49 +0000 http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/?p=3177#comment-832 [...] Happiness in this World » Only Three Ways To Die www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/08/09/only-three-ways-to-die – view page – cached [...] [...] Happiness in this World » Only Three Ways To Die http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/08/09/only-three-ways-to-die – view page – cached [...]

]]> By: isaac http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/08/09/only-three-ways-to-die/#comment-827 isaac Sat, 22 Aug 2009 23:12:25 +0000 http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/?p=3177#comment-827 I've watched both my parents go through having their parents pass on. One went the slow, long route of extending every possible little day (tracheotomy, lines, etc). The other just went into the hospital and refused any external nutrients. From what I witnessed, the first is the easier way in the sense of an easier choice for the family. The second was definitely the harder to refuse care. But I know the second way led to a death with dignity and the family left without being exhausted by months of watching a loved one suffer wretchedly. Feeding tubes, tracheotomies, etc. did little to extend any quality of life. It only prolonged and allowed the increase in suffering. I can only hope that when it comes time for me, I have the courage to say "enough" and go with dignity. <blockquote><em><strong>Isaac</strong>: You and me both. Alex</em></blockquote> I’ve watched both my parents go through having their parents pass on. One went the slow, long route of extending every possible little day (tracheotomy, lines, etc). The other just went into the hospital and refused any external nutrients. From what I witnessed, the first is the easier way in the sense of an easier choice for the family. The second was definitely the harder to refuse care. But I know the second way led to a death with dignity and the family left without being exhausted by months of watching a loved one suffer wretchedly. Feeding tubes, tracheotomies, etc. did little to extend any quality of life. It only prolonged and allowed the increase in suffering. I can only hope that when it comes time for me, I have the courage to say “enough” and go with dignity.

Isaac: You and me both.

Alex

]]> By: Lil Gluckstern http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/08/09/only-three-ways-to-die/#comment-763 Lil Gluckstern Wed, 19 Aug 2009 04:09:40 +0000 http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/?p=3177#comment-763 I really liked this entry because it blends the practical with the emotional, both of which are so important. I have a friend who said to speak as many of the words that we can while we can. I just checked in with my daughter, and asked if it was okay to get rid of years of cards, she, her sister, and the children have sent me. I live in a small space, and I have to clean up. In passing, but not really, we touch on so many of the things we loved together, the charm of the children, and how much we really love, and worry about each other. I don't think everything will be said, but there is always a little dust left in the corners. I am not planning on dying really soon, but I'd like to think that we hashed a lot of the "stuff" out while we could. I really liked this entry because it blends the practical with the emotional, both of which are so important. I have a friend who said to speak as many of the words that we can while we can. I just checked in with my daughter, and asked if it was okay to get rid of years of cards, she, her sister, and the children have sent me. I live in a small space, and I have to clean up. In passing, but not really, we touch on so many of the things we loved together, the charm of the children, and how much we really love, and worry about each other. I don’t think everything will be said, but there is always a little dust left in the corners. I am not planning on dying really soon, but I’d like to think that we hashed a lot of the “stuff” out while we could.

]]> By: Steven Markell http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/08/09/only-three-ways-to-die/#comment-760 Steven Markell Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:19:58 +0000 http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/?p=3177#comment-760 Brilliant! Ram Das, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Steven & Ondrea Levine, Marty Rossman, and the rest of the best could not have said it better. THANK YOU. Brilliant! Ram Das, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Steven & Ondrea Levine, Marty Rossman, and the rest of the best could not have said it better. THANK YOU.

]]>