Comments on: The Double-Edged Sword Of Attachment http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/06/14/the-double-edged-sword-of-attachment/ Reflections of a Buddhist Physician Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:49:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: When A Beloved Pet Dies « Happiness in this World http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/06/14/the-double-edged-sword-of-attachment/#comment-15553 When A Beloved Pet Dies « Happiness in this World Mon, 06 Sep 2010 17:27:03 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2300#comment-15553 [...] that’s exactly how it feels.  The reason is simply this:  as I wrote in a previous post, The Double-Edged Sword Of Attachment, the degree of attachment we feel for things has far less to do with the things themselves than [...] [...] that’s exactly how it feels.  The reason is simply this:  as I wrote in a previous post, The Double-Edged Sword Of Attachment, the degree of attachment we feel for things has far less to do with the things themselves than [...]

]]> By: Nia http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/06/14/the-double-edged-sword-of-attachment/#comment-10456 Nia Tue, 20 Jul 2010 10:48:15 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2300#comment-10456 Thank you. I know I'm over something traumatic that happened to me. But sometimes, when I'm feeling a little bit lonely, I let it take a hold on me again, just because it'll let this isolated moment of emptiness fit into a bigger theme... Thank you. I know I’m over something traumatic that happened to me. But sometimes, when I’m feeling a little bit lonely, I let it take a hold on me again, just because it’ll let this isolated moment of emptiness fit into a bigger theme…

]]> By: Blind Panic http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/06/14/the-double-edged-sword-of-attachment/#comment-4128 Blind Panic Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:34:24 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2300#comment-4128 “Suffer what there is to suffer. Enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life…” I stand corrected. “Suffer what there is to suffer. Enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life…”

I stand corrected.

]]> By: Jessica http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/06/14/the-double-edged-sword-of-attachment/#comment-3799 Jessica Thu, 11 Feb 2010 21:57:30 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2300#comment-3799 Two days after Hurricane Katrina left my two kids and I homeless, I got a big lesson in attachment...and from an unlikely source, my 5 year old daughter. We were walking through a store in Georgia, and I fought back tears as we tried to find a map so we could navigate across the country and somehow find the rest of my family that had been scattered in the evacuation. My daughter looked up at me from the grocery cart, wiped a tear from my cheek and said, "It's okay, Mommy...you know you can't buy a new ME at Wal-Mart." Suddenly I realized that all the things I mourned for were just that, things. Replaceable things. And it was that idea that somehow gave me the courage to keep going and remake a life for all of us. Now, looking back, that storm was the best thing that ever happened to me. I now have an amazing husband, a new life in a great city, and more than I ever dreamed of having! I truly believe that while we have no control over things that happen to us or around us, we have absolute control over the way we react to them. <blockquote><em><strong>Jessica</strong>: What a fantastic story! Thank you so much for sharing it. Alex</em></blockquote> Two days after Hurricane Katrina left my two kids and I homeless, I got a big lesson in attachment…and from an unlikely source, my 5 year old daughter. We were walking through a store in Georgia, and I fought back tears as we tried to find a map so we could navigate across the country and somehow find the rest of my family that had been scattered in the evacuation. My daughter looked up at me from the grocery cart, wiped a tear from my cheek and said, “It’s okay, Mommy…you know you can’t buy a new ME at Wal-Mart.” Suddenly I realized that all the things I mourned for were just that, things. Replaceable things. And it was that idea that somehow gave me the courage to keep going and remake a life for all of us. Now, looking back, that storm was the best thing that ever happened to me. I now have an amazing husband, a new life in a great city, and more than I ever dreamed of having! I truly believe that while we have no control over things that happen to us or around us, we have absolute control over the way we react to them.

Jessica: What a fantastic story! Thank you so much for sharing it.

Alex

]]> By: anjela http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/06/14/the-double-edged-sword-of-attachment/#comment-2919 anjela Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:00:18 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2300#comment-2919 Having a sense of possible loss when your child was ill was one thing but had your child died not sure you'd be writing the same article and giving assessments to other people's grief who have loved and lost. Yes we attach but we don't attach with the prospect with losing always. I can only speak for myself. I think when one loves one's child or spouse or partner or anyone with whom a person is truly close to, the grief can't at that moment be just written off as "better days are ahead" or "chin up." Grief should be respected and the lesson I have learned has been to love someone as much as you can for whatever time you have so that if in the event that something happens—be it an ending of any kind (not just death) then you can look back and think how you loved that person and have no regrets. Yes you may be happy again but forever there is a void—like looking at an old sepia photograph where people in the picture fade and life is like that, a continual blurring of places and people fading from the original picture. <blockquote><em><strong>Angela</strong>: Just because some losses we suffer in the course of our lives are devastating and many don't ever really recover doesn't mean recovery isn't possible. And then there's the issue of what exactly it means to recover. You say, "Yes, you may be happy again but forever there is a void." I wonder how that experience may differ from person to person. And I certainly didn't mean to imply grief can effectively dealt with by saying simply, "Chin up." But given that all things <strong>do</strong> end, doesn't it make sense for us to search for a way to remain happy despite our losses—to use them even as a way to become happier? Alex</em></blockquote> Having a sense of possible loss when your child was ill was one thing but had your child died not sure you’d be writing the same article and giving assessments to other people’s grief who have loved and lost. Yes we attach but we don’t attach with the prospect with losing always. I can only speak for myself. I think when one loves one’s child or spouse or partner or anyone with whom a person is truly close to, the grief can’t at that moment be just written off as “better days are ahead” or “chin up.” Grief should be respected and the lesson I have learned has been to love someone as much as you can for whatever time you have so that if in the event that something happens—be it an ending of any kind (not just death) then you can look back and think how you loved that person and have no regrets. Yes you may be happy again but forever there is a void—like looking at an old sepia photograph where people in the picture fade and life is like that, a continual blurring of places and people fading from the original picture.

Angela: Just because some losses we suffer in the course of our lives are devastating and many don’t ever really recover doesn’t mean recovery isn’t possible. And then there’s the issue of what exactly it means to recover. You say, “Yes, you may be happy again but forever there is a void.” I wonder how that experience may differ from person to person. And I certainly didn’t mean to imply grief can effectively dealt with by saying simply, “Chin up.” But given that all things do end, doesn’t it make sense for us to search for a way to remain happy despite our losses—to use them even as a way to become happier?

Alex

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