Comments on: The Good Guy Contract http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/05/24/the-good-guy-contract/ Reflections of a Buddhist Physician Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:14:15 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Witney Accountants http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/05/24/the-good-guy-contract/#comment-3541 Witney Accountants Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:07:08 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2253#comment-3541 I learned to say "NO" only 8 months ago. Other than saving time, I benefited in the health department. Saving time means employing it to generate something worthwhile; it could be earning money, spending time with family, building relationships, etc. I like this article. I am overtly spiritual and compassionate. Buddhism has had it's share of influence on me over the last 8 years. Though I have never heard about the practice of Nichiren Buddhism. Great article! I really enjoyed reading this post and I stumbled upon it. Thanks! I learned to say “NO” only 8 months ago. Other than saving time, I benefited in the health department. Saving time means employing it to generate something worthwhile; it could be earning money, spending time with family, building relationships, etc.

I like this article. I am overtly spiritual and compassionate. Buddhism has had it’s share of influence on me over the last 8 years. Though I have never heard about the practice of Nichiren Buddhism. Great article! I really enjoyed reading this post and I stumbled upon it. Thanks!

]]> By: Malcolm Jones http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/05/24/the-good-guy-contract/#comment-2923 Malcolm Jones Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:50:21 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2253#comment-2923 I understand not NEEDING to be liked (BTW, I happen not to have this issue myself, though I see it everywhere), but shouldn't you be nice regardless? Having all your old friends think you're a jerk doesn't seem good either. You should be nice WITHOUT relying on the "Good Guy Contract." <blockquote><em><strong>Malcolm</strong>: Agreed. The key point I was trying to make is that there are different reasons to be nice and that being liked isn't a good one. We should be nice, in general, because we generally care about the welfare of people around us. My old friends thought I was a jerk because of the rapid shift in my attitude toward them—that is, because I wasn't bending over backward to please them anymore—not because I started treating them poorly. Tearing up a Good Guy Contract doesn't mean becoming mean! It just means you're no longer motivated to be nice to get people to like you. Alex</em></blockquote> I understand not NEEDING to be liked (BTW, I happen not to have this issue myself, though I see it everywhere), but shouldn’t you be nice regardless? Having all your old friends think you’re a jerk doesn’t seem good either. You should be nice WITHOUT relying on the “Good Guy Contract.”

Malcolm: Agreed. The key point I was trying to make is that there are different reasons to be nice and that being liked isn’t a good one. We should be nice, in general, because we generally care about the welfare of people around us. My old friends thought I was a jerk because of the rapid shift in my attitude toward them—that is, because I wasn’t bending over backward to please them anymore—not because I started treating them poorly. Tearing up a Good Guy Contract doesn’t mean becoming mean! It just means you’re no longer motivated to be nice to get people to like you.

Alex

]]> By: George http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/05/24/the-good-guy-contract/#comment-2357 George Sun, 13 Dec 2009 08:08:56 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2253#comment-2357 Being a good person isn't about being liked; it's about liking to be good. Being a good person isn’t about being liked; it’s about liking to be good.

]]> By: Jon http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/05/24/the-good-guy-contract/#comment-2161 Jon Mon, 30 Nov 2009 02:36:43 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2253#comment-2161 I really enjoyed reading this post; helped me through some thoughts that have been rolling around in my head. Keep up this good work, and remember it's best to keep things in mind about "subjective" and "objective." I really enjoyed reading this post; helped me through some thoughts that have been rolling around in my head. Keep up this good work, and remember it’s best to keep things in mind about “subjective” and “objective.”

]]> By: Lee http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/05/24/the-good-guy-contract/#comment-2126 Lee Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:27:49 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=2253#comment-2126 There is one word (I guess an "official term") for the Good Guy Contract. It is called co-dependency. The following link is one of the best books I have ever read, as someone who struggles every day with co-dependency (hopefully will be recovered soon). <em>Co-dependent No More</em>—see the Amazon link below. http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259378705&sr=8-1 There is one word (I guess an “official term”) for the Good Guy Contract. It is called co-dependency. The following link is one of the best books I have ever read, as someone who struggles every day with co-dependency (hopefully will be recovered soon).

Co-dependent No More—see the Amazon link below.

http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259378705&sr=8-1

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