Comments on: Never Be Defeated http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/03/01/never-be-defeated/ Reflections of a Buddhist Physician Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:49:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sophie Grossman http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/03/01/never-be-defeated/#comment-62774 Sophie Grossman Mon, 12 Sep 2011 01:39:10 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=889#comment-62774 Never Be Defeated... what an awe-inspiring article! Can I ask how you used the article on Match.com to lure your wife?! I see you practice Internal Medicine. Did you ever have any desire to practice Psychiatry?! You have a wonderful handle on the human psyche! Thank you for sharing your stories. Namaste, Sophie <blockquote><em><strong>Sophie</strong>: I sent her that story looking for someone who would respond to it as I did, thinking such a person would likely be a good match for me—and she was! She said it gave her chills. I had thought at one point about going into psychiatry but chose internal medicine because I liked the detective work involved and recognized there's a lot of psychiatry embedded in it. Alex</em></blockquote> Never Be Defeated… what an awe-inspiring article! Can I ask how you used the article on Match.com to lure your wife?!

I see you practice Internal Medicine. Did you ever have any desire to practice Psychiatry?!

You have a wonderful handle on the human psyche! Thank you for sharing your stories.

Namaste,
Sophie

Sophie: I sent her that story looking for someone who would respond to it as I did, thinking such a person would likely be a good match for me—and she was! She said it gave her chills. I had thought at one point about going into psychiatry but chose internal medicine because I liked the detective work involved and recognized there’s a lot of psychiatry embedded in it.

Alex

]]> By: Lisa Bolton http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/03/01/never-be-defeated/#comment-1405 Lisa Bolton Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:19:09 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=889#comment-1405 RE: children's needs: My experience as a mom of a happy 10-year-old is that they vary, but that balance is nice, and pretty achievable, if you just pay close attention to your little darling(s). My son needs a lot of unstructured time in which to play with toys, make things, and sort of be actively engaged in fun of his own design, whether with friends or alone. TV and video games are the candy and potato chips of his entertainment diet, i.e. limited. Some children seem to thrive on structure and team sports and group activities. Sometimes, it seems to be the parents who are thriving, and the sport is just another thing the child feels he has to do. My experience has been that you can just kind of tell whether your child is contented and thriving overall, then adjust, kind of like moving a plant to a different window for better light. Childhood is a great time for trying lots of different things, and one simple rule is that if your child tries something new and doesn't like it, (s)he at least has to finish out the season (eg sports) or give it a few months to "take" (eg piano lessons). The other thing that can be tricky is appreciating your child's separateness and differences from yourself. For example when you discover that your child doesn't like all your stuff/music/people/food/activities, and probably has passing fascinations with all kinds of things that you don't get all. We expect this during adolescence, but it actually seems to start pretty early on, giving ample time to practice mutual respect and accommodation, which can be fun. Best wishes to new parents! <blockquote><em><strong>Lisa</strong>: Great tips. Thanks! Alex</em></blockquote> RE: children’s needs:

My experience as a mom of a happy 10-year-old is that they vary, but that balance is nice, and pretty achievable, if you just pay close attention to your little darling(s).

My son needs a lot of unstructured time in which to play with toys, make things, and sort of be actively engaged in fun of his own design, whether with friends or alone. TV and video games are the candy and potato chips of his entertainment diet, i.e. limited.

Some children seem to thrive on structure and team sports and group activities. Sometimes, it seems to be the parents who are thriving, and the sport is just another thing the child feels he has to do.

My experience has been that you can just kind of tell whether your child is contented and thriving overall, then adjust, kind of like moving a plant to a different window for better light.

Childhood is a great time for trying lots of different things, and one simple rule is that if your child tries something new and doesn’t like it, (s)he at least has to finish out the season (eg sports) or give it a few months to “take” (eg piano lessons).

The other thing that can be tricky is appreciating your child’s separateness and differences from yourself. For example when you discover that your child doesn’t like all your stuff/music/people/food/activities, and probably has passing fascinations with all kinds of things that you don’t get all.

We expect this during adolescence, but it actually seems to start pretty early on, giving ample time to practice mutual respect and accommodation, which can be fun.

Best wishes to new parents!

Lisa: Great tips. Thanks!

Alex

]]> By: Maggie in Maine http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/03/01/never-be-defeated/#comment-74 Maggie in Maine Sat, 14 Mar 2009 19:32:34 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=889#comment-74 Thanks for the wonderful tale of the violinist turned businessman. I used to play the violin, but had to give it up some years ago due to severe arthritis in my left shoulder. Although I missed making music, I knew it was not my greatest passion. Reading and writing are what I love and I do both on a daily basis. I was pleased to discover your blog on the NYT website. Thank you. I also agree with the idea of allowing children to have time and space to observe and appreciate the world around them. I am in my mid-sixties and came of age in a small town on the Maine coast where as a child, I was fortunate to have a great deal of free time to safely explore and observe both the natural world and the daily lives of family, friends and neighbors. Beyond school and a weekly violin lesson, my time was pretty much my own. I wonder if children today are stressed from all of the structured activities, sports and various lessons which have become the norm? As I have no grandchildren, I wonder if this is a concern? Thank you again. <blockquote><em><strong>Maggie in Maine</strong>: Thanks so much for your comment. I personally do think children have the potential to be stressed from being so over-scheduled as many of them seem to be these days. My wife and I discuss this regarding our 1 year-old son all the time. Alex</em></blockquote> Thanks for the wonderful tale of the violinist turned businessman. I used to play the violin, but had to give it up some years ago due to severe arthritis in my left shoulder. Although I missed making music, I knew it was not my greatest passion. Reading and writing are what I love and I do both on a daily basis. I was pleased to discover your blog on the NYT website. Thank you. I also agree with the idea of allowing children to have time and space to observe and appreciate the world around them. I am in my mid-sixties and came of age in a small town on the Maine coast where as a child, I was fortunate to have a great deal of free time to safely explore and observe both the natural world and the daily lives of family, friends and neighbors. Beyond school and a weekly violin lesson, my time was pretty much my own. I wonder if children today are stressed from all of the structured activities, sports and various lessons which have become the norm? As I have no grandchildren, I wonder if this is a concern? Thank you again.

Maggie in Maine: Thanks so much for your comment. I personally do think children have the potential to be stressed from being so over-scheduled as many of them seem to be these days. My wife and I discuss this regarding our 1 year-old son all the time.

Alex

]]> By: Ken Gould http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/03/01/never-be-defeated/#comment-73 Ken Gould Sat, 14 Mar 2009 16:49:02 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=889#comment-73 Hey, thanks for the story. It's great in that it helps one to recognize that any and all situations have the potential for a person to arise to the occasion, and surpass what they thought their limits were. It reminds me of the Bhagavad Gita in which Arjun is being challenged by Krishna to rise up out of his fear and act according to his need of the hour. Sometimes a person can only get in touch with his ultimate strength when it is required of him and he knows deep down that it is what he wants. Otherwise, he could be distracted by rationalizations and never truly meet what will bring out his inner truth, which is that at the root he is that absolute, indestructible fire! Hey, thanks for the story. It’s great in that it helps one to recognize that any and all situations have the potential for a person to arise to the occasion, and surpass what they thought their limits were. It reminds me of the Bhagavad Gita in which Arjun is being challenged by Krishna to rise up out of his fear and act according to his need of the hour. Sometimes a person can only get in touch with his ultimate strength when it is required of him and he knows deep down that it is what he wants. Otherwise, he could be distracted by rationalizations and never truly meet what will bring out his inner truth, which is that at the root he is that absolute, indestructible fire!

]]> By: Laurie | Express Yourself to Success http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/03/01/never-be-defeated/#comment-72 Laurie | Express Yourself to Success Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:53:36 +0000 http://happinessinthisworld.com/?p=889#comment-72 I really liked the violin story; it's one I'll remember for a long time. Thanks! I really liked the violin story; it’s one I’ll remember for a long time. Thanks!

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